getting there (flights n visas)
yo so if ur thinkin bout goin to vietnam lemme tell u straight up from my dumb ass experience last year when i was shitfaced half the trip. first off getting there is a pain in the dick. flights from india are fuckin expensive af like i paid almost 28k inr for a one way from delhi to hanoi and that was with a layover in bangkok that got delayed 6 hours cuz some stupid technical shit. i sat there drinkin overpriced beer wondering why tf i didnt just stay home. vietnam visas are easy now tho u can do evisa online for like 25 bucks i think it lasts 90 days or whatever dont quote me. i fucked up my application first time and had to redo it drunk at 3am which was hilarious but also embarrassing af.
once u land in vietnam u gotta figure out where to crash. hostels are cheap as hell like 150-300k dong a night which is like 500-1000 inr i guess? i stayed in this one in hanoi that had free beer from 7 to 9pm and lemme tell u i took full advantage and woke up with a tattoo i dont remember getting. hotels are better if u got money but i blew my budget early so ended up in some random airbnb in da nang that turned into a horror story. the host was this weird dude who kept showing up unannounced and i swear he stole my socks. lost my wallet there too prolly left it in a tuk tuk or some shit idk. never found it. had to cancel all my cards while hungover in vietnam which sucked balls. airbnbs in vietnam can be hit or miss fr. one time in ho chi minh i got a place that looked cute in pics but had no ac and it was 38 degrees outside. i slept in the bathtub with wet towels on me like a dumbass.
food in vietnam tho… holy shit the street food is why u go. pho at 2am after drinking rice wine with random locals is life changing. i ate this banh mi sandwich from a lady on the corner in hanoi every single day for a week and it was like 20k dong which is nothing. but real talk i got food poisoning so bad in hue i thought i was gonna die. spent 36 hours shitting my brains out in a hostel bathroom while some australian dude kept asking if i was okay through the door. vietnam street food is fire but u gotta pick places with lots of locals and watch how they clean shit. i ignored that rule and paid for it. also try the coffee. vietnam coffee is strong as fuck they mix it with condensed milk and it tastes like happiness in a glass. i drank like 4 a day and my heart was doing backflips but worth it.
where to stay (hostels hotels horror stories)
best time to go to vietnam is like november to february when its not raining every five minutes. dont come in june or july like i did part of my trip cuz the monsoon in vietnam will fuck u up. i was in saigon and it rained so hard my shoes got moldy inside my bag. one night i was on a motorbike taxi and the rain hit so bad we had to pull over under a bridge with like 20 other people. met this weird german guy there who kept telling me about his ex girlfriend for an hour while we waited. random shit like that happens in vietnam all the time.
budget wise if ur coming from india id say u need like 2500-4000 inr a day if ur not being stupid. that covers hostel bed food a few beers and maybe a tour or scooter rental. i did it on less some days like 1800 but i was eating noodles from 7 eleven and sleeping till 2pm. beer is so cheap in vietnam its dangerous. like 10k dong for a fresh beer which is like 30 rupees. i spent way too much on that. entrance fees for stuff like ha long bay or whatever are like 500k dong i think? prices are all fuzzy in my head cuz i lost my notebook with all my expenses when i lost my wallet. dumb.
tips that nobody tells u about vietnam. first off everyone drives like theyre trying to die. crossing the street is an act of faith just start walking slow and dont stop or youll get hit by 47 scooters. also the dudes selling tours will lie to ur face. this one guy in hanoi told me his “special” halong bay trip was private and it ended up being 45 chinese tourists on a boat that smelled like old fish. learn a few words in vietnamese like xin chao and cam on even if u mispell them all the time like i did. the people in vietnam are actually really nice if u arent a dick to them. i made friends with this family in hoi an who invited me to their house for dinner even tho i was a sweaty mess and kept saying wrong words.
what to eat (pho banh mi n the food poisoning story)
oh and the heat. vietnam heat will melt ur face off. i lost 4 kilos in two weeks just from sweating. bring electrolyte packets or u will feel like shit. also watch out for the cops. i got stopped on a rented scooter in vietnam and had to pay like 400k dong bribe cuz my papers werent right. the cop was nice about it tho we laughed and he let me go after. still annoying.
random tangent but i met this girl in vietnam who said she was from mumbai but turned out she was from pune and we ended up traveling together for like 10 days till she got mad at me for flirting with the bartender in da nang. shes probably still mad. also i think i left my favorite sunglasses in a bar in hanoi. they were raybans too. fucking hell.
now for the stupid faq shit people always ask me when i say i went to vietnam.
best time to visit (monsoon is hell)
is vietnam safe? yeah mostly but dont be dumb with ur stuff like i was. i had my phone snatched once but the guy felt bad and actually threw it back at me? weirdest shit ever.
do they speak english in vietnam? some do some dont. younger people usually better. just download google translate and point at shit.
is vietnam expensive? compared to india its similar or a bit more but way cheaper than thailand or bali. u can live like a king on 50k inr a month easy if u stay outta tourist traps.
budget in indian rupees (rough numbers)
can u drink the water in vietnam? fuck no. buy bottled or those big water jugs. i drank tap once on a dare and regretted it for days.
should i go north or south in vietnam? both. north is mountains and cooler vibe. south is beaches and chaos. i liked hanoi more than saigon but everyone argues about this shit online.
whats the weed situation in vietnam? its everywhere but technically illegal so be smart. i smoked with some dudes on a rooftop in ho chi minh and the view was insane but dont tell my mom.
real tips nobody tells u
random thing that happened – i woke up on a night bus in vietnam with a chicken on my lap. like a real live chicken in a cage. the owner just laughed and offered me some jackfruit. vietnam is wild like that.
also the beaches in vietnam are actually decent but some are packed with russian tourists playing bad music. phu quoc is nice but overrated now i think. i went to a smaller one whose name i forgot and it was empty af except for me and some stray dogs.
ngl vietnam changed how i think about travel. i went for two weeks and stayed almost two months cuz i kept saying just one more city. blew all my savings but zero regrets even after the food poisoning wallet loss and that time i fell off a scooter and scraped my whole arm. still have the scar. looks kinda cool now tbh.
faq (stupid questions people ask)
if ur gonna go to vietnam just go with the flow. plans fall apart there constantly. my flight out got cancelled and i had to sleep in the airport with like 60 other people. met a dude from kerala there who gave me half his samosa. good times.
last thing. the rice wine in vietnam will fuck u up. its like 40% and tastes like paint thinner but they sell it everywhere for nothing. i drank a whole bottle with some motorbike taxi drivers in sapa and woke up in a different village. they drove me back for free tho so nice people.
anyway thats my messy ass guide to vietnam. if u go u gotta message me weird stories. i wanna hear if u also get food poisoning or lose ur shit or meet random germans under bridges in the rain. vietnam does that to u. makes u part of its chaos.
plan your trip
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Headed to Southeast Asia? Check our Cambodia travel guide too.